G.I. Joe Military Tech FAIL

In preparation for the release of the "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" movie, Popular Mechanics examines the history of the toy line's misguided military technology designs. 

Advance buzz on the movie is pretty weak, but the trailer looks okay to us:

Deer Tick Failed Media Training But They're Still Awesome

Please do not be fooled by this somewhat boring interview with the Pentagon Channel: the new Deer Tick album "Born on Flag Day" is one of the best albums of the year, bringing back some 80s underground rock kick to the alternative country genre. Check Deer Tick out on MySpace or iTunes to hear how good they are. (via DoDvClips.mil)

William Shatner Finds the Poetry in Sarah Palin's Resignation Speech

William Shatner used his legendary beat poetry performance skills to interpret Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's resignation speech on "The Tonight Show." 

Shatner always preferred solo dramatic readings to his roles on "Star Trek" and "TJ Hooker," best evidenced by his legendary reading of Elton John's "Rocket Man" on a 70s awards show.

Rock it, man.

Kellie Pickler Reveals Her USO Secrets

Why does Kellie Pickler have those stars on her arms? Also, she talks to the Pentagon Channel about touring with Taylor Swift and almost makes it through the entire interview without mentioning "American Idol," but slips up there at the end. (via DoDvClips.mil)

Some Troops Don't Think Defending American Freedom Includes Safeguarding the NFL's Copyrights

South Korean police have warned U.S. troops against buying low-priced, counterfeit NFL jerseys to resell back in the States for "upwards of 10 times their South Korean price." 

No American personnel have yet been arrested, but the investigators have a message for the uniform smugglers: "I want to tell them not to buy these fake goods. I think they may not know it is against the law regarding protecting intellectual property rights."  

No comment so far from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell as to why the league allows licensed goods to be manufactured outside the States, giving the bootleggers an idea that the shirts might be worthing ripping off and also handing them actual samples to copy.

Read the full article at Stars and Stripes.

DeWayne Wise Gives Mark Buehrle a Perfect-Plus Game

Chicago White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle threw only the 18th perfect game in Major League history on Thursday against the Tampa Bay Rays, but DeWayne Wise's impossible catch in the top of the 9th inning that elevates this game into the stratosphere.

Tracy Morgan Understands the Perils of Success

Tracy Morgan from "30 Rock" tells a cautionary tale about Whitney Houston and worries about what might happen to him if he wins an Emmy award.

We Are All Now Witnesses

The dirt merchants over at TMZ have parted with some cash and now we can all watch video of Jamal Crawford dunking on LeBron James. 

If Nike and LeBron had just let it go, we'd all have forgotten about this by now. You have to go over to TMZ to see it because they won't allow us to embed the video here.

Time to Get Ill

The Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch (a/k/a MCA) announced today that he is undergoing treatment for a tumor on his left parotid gland. Yauch's cancer therapy has led to the postponement of the group's new album "Hot Sauce Committe" (originally scheduled for September 15th) and the cancellation of their upcoming tour. Get well soon, MCA.

A Giant Leap for Mankind

It's hard to explain now just how genuinely fractured society was in 1969 and how much the moon landing did to bring people together and give Americans a sense of how much our country could accomplish when it focused on a meaningful goal. 

If Apollo 11 landed today, we'd all have to suffer through to an endless parade of clowns on the 24-hour news channels mindlessly parroting talking points about how the administration either was ruining the country by dispensing pork through the space program or how the moon landing "proved" that all of the current president's policies were good for the country.

July 20, 1969 was both a celebration of American ingenuity and the amazing things the human spirit can accomplish. You can check out a gallery of newspaper headlines from all over the world at Gawker.