Absolute Proof That the Cold War is Really Over

Here's something from the "Stuff Your Grandparents Would Never Believe" File: The Moscow Ballet is offering free admission for children of U.S. military personnel to their 2009 Great Russian Nutcracker touras part of a "Buy One, Get One Free" admission for all active, reserve and retired men and women. 

Details are listed in the full press release below:

Military Kids Free to the Great Russian Nutcracker! 

A Holiday Gift From the Moscow Ballet

(PITTSFIELD, MA) – In honor of Veterans Day and the commencement of the 2009 Great Russian Nutcracker Tour, Moscow Ballet is proud to announce an incredible gift for military personnel. While supplies last, Great Russian Nutcracker tickets will be distributed for free to kids from military families with love from the producers, employees and dancers at the Moscow Ballet. 

All active, reserve and retired men and women will enjoy a ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ ticket deal for the November and December performances of the Great Russian Nutcracker. To qualify, individuals must bring a copy of their military ID, kids must be under the age of 18 and discounts can be redeemed at the venue’s box office. 

With the holiday season approaching, Moscow Ballet is excited to extend their hand of gratitude to those who presently serve and previously served to protect the life, liberty and love of our country. Akiva and Mary Talmi, the producers of the Great Russian Nutcracker, have come together with the entire Moscow Ballet family in welcoming this generous offer. 

“The Great Russian Nutcracker story takes place in the land of Peace and Harmony. In the performance itself, the classical story conveys the character’s desire for tranquility among mankind. The armed forces of the United States share the same aspiration for our country and we couldn’t be more grateful,” Akiva Talmi explains. 

Acclaimed for beautiful dancing and elegant costumes, critics rave that Anatoli Emelianov’s Great Russian Nutcracker is “flawless,” “breathtaking” and “dazzling.” With exquisite classical ballet dancing, beautiful handcrafted backdrops and world-renowned life sized puppets, this holiday classic is sure to mesmerize and captivate audiences. 

 The Moscow Ballet is looking forward to seeing you at the show and spreading holiday cheer to audiences in 70 different markets and over 100 performances! For more information and a full list of tour dates, please visit: http://www.nutcracker.com.

*Offer applies to all United States Great Russian Nutcracker performance cities excluding: Cedar City, UT; Easton, PA; Leavenworth, KS; La Miranda, CA; Nacogdoches, TX; Phoenix, AZ; Sheboygan, WI; Springfield, MA; and Stephensville, TX.

Charlie Sheen Demands that President Obama Face the Truth About 9/11

Most Americans don't realize that Two and a Half Men actor and noted Hollywood john Charlie Sheen gained extensive foreign policy and national security experience from his roles in the classic '80s films Red Dawn and Platoon.

Sheen has put that experience to good use as one of America's highest-profile spokesmen for the 9/11 Truth movement. In a compelling post for Alex Jones' Prison Planet blog, Charlie transcribes an imaginary interview with President Barack Obama where Sheen both confuses and dazzles the President with his irrefutable logic. Obama eventually promises to take him seriously and hints that a new investigation just might be forthcoming. 

No word yet as to whether real-life President Obama plans to listen to Charlie, even though Sheen has assured the White House that Obama's alternate-reality predecessor Jed Bartlet would have surely taken the meeting by now.

(Military.com has a new blog from former CNN correspondent Jamie McIntyre called Line of Departure. Jamie's talking about the 9/11 conspiracy theories today with posts titled What Really Happened 9/11 and Will the Conspiracy Theories Ever Die?)

Outsourcing Gets Outed

Pop quiz: is this picture (A) an outtake from the hit summer movie The Hangover or (B) photos of actual ArmorGroup guards hired by the US Government to protect the U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan? 

If you guessed (B), congratulate yourself for being someone who understands the perils of a privatized military.

News broke today that the State Department is now investigating ArmorGroup (a subsidiary of Wackenhut Services) after photographs surfaced on Gawker showing the hazing rituals at Camp Sullivan, the guards' quarters situated a few miles from the embassy.

The picture above is the only one we can get away with publishing here, but feel free to wander over to Gawker for the really graphic stuff. This probably isn't exactly what Dick Cheney had it mind. 

Beer Makes You Strong & Healthy

MSNBC reports that a U.S. government study has discovered a powerful secret: the more you drink, the more you exercise. And everybody knows that exercise makes you healthy.

As USA Withdraws from Iraq, Americans Contemplate an Invasion of Scotland

The BBC reports that Americans, angry over Scotland's "compassionate release" of the Iraqi convicted of the 1986 Lockerbie bombing, are calling for retribution against the UK country, starting with a boycott of Scottish goods. Angry online campaigners are demanding that bar patrons order "Freedom Liquor" if they can't give up their scotch whisky and the longtime American boycott of haggis now seems to be set in concrete.

The Midnight Cowboy Predicts Civil War

Noted conspiracy theorist and occasional actor Jon Voight now worries that President Obama is "creating" a civil war in the United States through his promotion of socialism using bullying methods he learned from a book called Rules for Radicals by someone named Saul Alinsky. In an interview with The Washington Times, Voight also claims "average Americans don't want a government-run health care plan," but doesn't clarify whether saving America from socialism requires closing VA Hospitals and ending Medicare for the elderly.

Finally, A Reasonable Voice in the Health Care Debate

Real Americans want the Government to know what it can do with its (alleged) Death Panels. (via The Awl)

Maybe The Beatles Were Wrong

Money can buy you love or at least offer your brain a reasonable substitute, according to a new study published in Psychological Science. Handling money made test subjects less likely to feel discomfort when they were subjected to pain. As one of the scientists told NPR, "We think money works as a substitute for another pain buffer — love."

Buzz Aldrin's Right is No Hoax

Apollo 11's manned lunar landing, celebrating its 40th anniversary on July 20th, stands as the United States' greatest application of military technology for peacetime purposes. Rather than celebrate that accomplishment, CNN has once again given a platform to the wackjob conspiracy theorists who claim the moon landings are a hoax with a front-page story here on the news channel's website. 

Conspiracy theorists take all efforts to shut them up as more evidence of a coverup, so Buzz Aldrin, the second astronaut to walk on the moon and now an aspiring rapper, gave the only rational response when he hauled off and slugged one of the crazies back in 2002 when the "investigator" ambushed Aldrin with video cameras.

Americans should thank the moon hoaxers for inspiring "Capricorn One," the 1978 classic film that features O.J. Simpson and Jack McCoy as astronauts who participate in a faked Mars landing, but otherwise it's time we stopped paying attention.

Steve Dahl Still Won't Apologize For His Disco Bonfire

Thirty years ago, the Chicago White Sox forfeited the second game of their doubleheader after a stadium promotion went horribly wrong. 

Radio disc jockey Steve Dahl made his name in Chicago rock radio by declaring "Disco Sucks" and destroying disco records on his show. The White Sox decided to charge 98¢ admission to fans who also brought a disco album to get blown up in a Dahl-led ceremony between games. Those records blowed up real good and the fans went crazy, trashing the field before the White Sox brought the cops in to restore order.

Stadium security has improved so much that nothing like this could possibly happen today. Watching owner Bill Veeck and White Sox announcer Harry Caray try to calm the raging crowd with a chorus of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" now just seems surreal.

Steve Dahl still thinks it's hilarious. I think he's a guy who burns records and, no matter how much all us rock boys thought we hated disco back then, burning any kind of art (whether it's books, music or paintings) isn't the kind of thing we're supposed to do in America. Even so, that fire still looks pretty cool.