Ice Hockey Meltdown

The head coach of minor league hockey team the Louisiana IceGators trashed his own bench and dumped the contents onto the ice during a loss to the Penscacola Ice Flyers on November 6th.

Coach Brent Sapergia earned an indefinite suspension from the league and, since he's also the team's general manager, hired another coach to take over the team, possibly ending his coaching career in epic fashion. (via NHL Fanhouse)

Chad Ochocinco Wants to Show You the Money

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco seems a little unclear on the concept: in Jerry Maguire, Rod Tidwill asks his agent to "show me the money." 

In yesterday's game against the Baltimore Ravens, Chad tried to buy off a referee who ruled that he caught a pass out of bounds. The ref ignored him. No word yet from the National Football League about what punishment Roger Goodell is thinking up in his corporate office.

Note to commenters: We're going with the league's spelling and making "Ochocino" one word, even though Chad prefers "Ocho Cinco." If you want to complain that his real name is Chad Johnson, please contact the judge who allowed him to make the legal name change in 2008. 

Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Doesn't Want You to Support the Troops in His Stadium

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has a fundamental misunderstanding of how people like to have a good time. His incompetence has already driven Six Flags into bankruptcy and now he's trying to ruin the game day experience for 'Skins fans at FedEx Field. 

Stadium security is now confiscating all cardboard signs at the gate to "protect spectators from getting injured by signs, and also to make sure that everyone can see the action."

Signs are permitted at the hundreds of other other high school, college and NFL game played every single week and I can't find reports of a single incident where someone was assaulted with or accidentally injured by a cardboard sign.

Of course, the ban could be related to Snyder's notoriously thin skin and the open criticism coming from loyal fans about his horrible, horrible team. D.C. Sports Blog has a nice selection of confiscated signs from last week's game.

Free advice for Dan: start Colt Brennan at quarterback for the rest of the season and let the signs back in. Things can't really be any worse and the kid would at least make things interesting.

Will Tim Donaghy's Book Bring Down the NBA?

Smart gamblers stay away from basketball because they know the games are the most easily fixed. 

There are only ten players on the court, so it's easier for one or two guys to change the outcome of a game. Since the games move at such a quick pace with fewer breaks in the action than football or baseball, the refs can have an enormous influence on outcomes by calling (or not calling) fouls.

Disgraced NBA ref Tim Donaghy, convicted of giving insider tips on NBA games to professional gamblers, used his fifteen-month prison stay to pen Blowing the Whistle: The Culture of Fraud in the NBA, an exposé of not-so-honorable tactics used by both refs and the NBA league office.

Once Random House announced a release date for Donaghy's book, the NBA's lawyers went into overdrive and intimidated the publisher into canceling the book.

Deadspin obtained an advance copy of Blowing the Whistle and has published excerpts that include allegations about referee gambling, personal prejudices of individual officials in favor or or against certain players or teams and orders from the league office that certain players shouldn't be touched.

"If Kobe Bryant had two fouls in the first or second quarter and went to the bench, one referee would tell the other two, "Kobe's got two fouls. Let's make sure that if we call a foul on him, it's an obvious foul, because otherwise he's gonna go back to the bench. If he is involved in a play where a foul is called, give the foul to another player."

ESPN reports that the NBA has now responded to the Deadspin post, promising to look into the allegations in a book the league didn't read before they shut it down.

Because "Inside the NBA" is Usually More Interesting Than the Actual Games

Let's hope everyone in the basketball world ignores Charles Barkley's new ambition to be General Manager of an NBA franchise, because he has the perfect job at TNT, at least until he's eligible to be Governor of Alabama in 2014.

Rush Limbaugh Inspires an NFL Labor Revolution

Rush Limbaugh wants to buy the St. Louis Rams and the media's going crazy. 

Even Al Sharpton's trying to get in on the action by sending a letter urging NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to block Limbaugh's bid.

Let's not lose sight of the real news here. After years of ineffective guidance from former Oakland Raider Gene Upshaw, the NFL Players Association may have actually found some leadership from new director DeMaurice Smith. ESPN reports that Smith took a shot a Limbaugh this weekend in an email to the union's executive committee, a missive that courts the kind of controversy that Goodell wants banned from the NFL: 

"I've spoken to the Commissioner and I understand that this ownership consideration is in the early stages. But sport in America is at its best when it unifies, gives all of us reason to cheer, and when it transcends. Our sport does exactly that when it overcomes division and rejects discrimination and hatred."

If Smith and the NFLPA are willing to court the wrath of Limbaugh, their next round of contract talks with NFL owners might involve actual negotiation instead of continuing Upshaw's practice of signing whatever agreement that Goodell put in front of him.

John Elway's Eight Signs of a Terrorist Plot Sound a Lot Like He's Describing Bill Belichick

Former Denver Bronco quarterback and NFL legend John Elway joined forces with the privately-funded Center for Empowered Living (CELL) and Learning to make this video designed to help you identify and expose any terrorists that may be living in your neighborhood. 

Pretty much everything described in the video could be equally applied to Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots' scheme to videotape other NFL teams' practices back in the early '00s. 

While I'm sure there are plenty of NFL fans who wouldn't mind seeing Belichick rousted by Homeland Security, Elway and CELL might have considered narrowing their focus and avoided making a film that so strongly echoes these films from the '50s.

Mean Joe Greene Would Not Approve of Your Modern Training Methods

Back in the '60s & '70s, NFL players took care of their bodies with a T-bone steak and a fistful of painkillers. Men's Fitness reports that modern athletes are going all new age, incorporating Bikram yoga, acupuncture, kettlebell training and mixed martial arts into their workout regimens. The old guys would have no time for this hippie nonsense, but, then again, lots of the old guys need a walker or a wheelchair to get around these days.

Herschel Walker Gives Up on the Pro Football Hall of Fame

Herschel Walker has enjoyed an amazing football career. In his college career, he anchored the offense for the University of Georgia's only National Championship squad in 1980, winning the Heisman Trophy in 1982. 

He left school early to join the New Jersey Generals of the startup USFL and, after that league folded, he jumped to the Dallas Cowboys and enjoyed a hugely productive NFL career.

Walker's combined USFL and NFL statistics make him one of the most productive pro backs ever. The Pro Football Hall of Fame has finally come around to the idea that he deserves credit for all his career yards, adding Walker to the list of players under consideration for 2010 induction into the hall.

So you have to wonder why Herschel just signed a deal with Strikeforce and announced that he plans to begin his career as a 47-year-old MMA fighter next spring once he's completed his a training program at the American Kickboxing Academy.

Is Herschel really that bored? There's no way Roger Goodell and the other control freaks in the NFL corporate offices will think this is good for the league's precious "image." Hell, Roger would probably suspend Walker right now if he could get away with it.

Good luck with the mixed martial arts, old man Walker. They'll probably give you another shot at the Hall of Fame when you're 70. (via FanHouse)

Krakauer Says Pat Tillman's Death 'Didn't Mean Anything'

In an interview with the Wall Street Journal where he talks about his new book Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman, author Jon Krakauer declares that Tillman's sacrifice "didn't mean anything." 

It speaks to the mythology of war and how we glorify it for our national interests. There is nothing glamorous or romantic about war. It's mostly about random pointless death and misery. And that's what his death tells us. It reminds me that the good aren't rewarded, there's no such thing as karma.

That's rough talk, especially from an author whose compelling books about survivalism in Alaska (Into the Wild) and the dangers of Mt. Everest climbing (Into Thin Air) have made him a favorite with military readers. Krakauer even claims that Tillman had a copy of his book Eiger Dreams in his backpack when he died.

Pat Tillman was a former Arizona Cardinals safety who walked away from a multimillion dollar contract to join the Army Rangers in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. After serving eighteen months in Iraq, Tillman was killed on patrol in Afghanistan in what was eventually declared a friendly-fire incident.

Initial Army reports declared that Tillman was killed by enemy fire and he was posthumously awared the Silver Star and a Purple Heart. Almost immediately, that story came into question and, as suggestions that Tillman was murdered arose, the family pressed for an investigation that established the friendly-fire version of events.

Tillman's widow alowed Krakauer to read Pat Tillman's private journals. Krakauer uses those writings to portray Tillman as a "liberal" who opposed the war as it was being conducted but whose sense of honor and duty compelled him to finish his service.

In the course of researching the book, Krakauer spent five months embedded with troops in Afghanistan and convinced at least some of Tillman's platoon-mates to give their first interviews about what happened on the day of his death. 

What's fascinating here are Krakauer's attempts to separate Tillman's life from political forces that would use his death as basis to debate one side or the other. Krakauer, never one for easy conclusions in any of his books, suggests here that the interests of military personnel (as symbolized by Tillman) are too complex to be served by the interests of any one party and that military service is a calling that necessarily exists outside the political debates going on at any given moment.

That's a powerful notion, one that neither Rush nor Keith will be particularly happy to hear.

You can read a couple of more interviews with Krakauer at Entertainment Weekly and The Daily Beast, plus check out another story here at Military.com.

UPDATE: Jon Krakauer talks about the book on the 9/30 edition of The Daily Show:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Jon Krakauer
www.thedailyshow.com
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